Odell Beckham, Jr.’s introductory press conference is today. Many Clevelanders are excited to hear from the new Browns’ wideout. I have been following Cleveland sports long enough that I can save you some time. This is how the media question portion of the conference is going to go down.
Odell Beckham, Jr. (OBJ) just finished up his opening remarks and the media is now asked for any questions. OBJ points to Mary Kay Cabot for the first question.
Mary Kay: What are your thoughts on playing for a franchise that didn’t win a game a couple of years ago?
OBJ: Well, I think last year they proved they are moving in the right direction and we are continuing to get better every day.
Mary Kay: Ok. Well what do you think about teaming up with Baker Mayfield? Are you excited even though he threw 3 interceptions in a game that one time last year?
OBJ: Are you always this negative? Next question.
Odell points in Tony Grossi’s general direction.
Tony: Odell, what do you…
OBJ: Not you Tony!
Tony pulls out his phone and blocks Odell on Twitter.
Tony: (mumbles under his breath) Have fun in the ex-files, pallie.
Odell calls on Stephen A. Smith
Stephen A.: What do you think about lining up opposite of Braylon Edwards this season with the Browns?
OBJ: That guy hasn’t played here in like 10 years.
Stephen A.: Oh that’s right. He was a baaaaaaaaad man, tho! You think you can learn Todd Haley’s playbook before camp starts?
Collin Cowherd stumbles in wearing a Sam Darnold jersey.
Collin: Did Baker Mayfield reach out to you immediately after the trade?
OBJ: He texted me the next day. I think he was doing some charity work at a children’s hospital right when it happened.
Collin: Typical. Hanging out at the children’s hospital like a little kid. When will he ever grow up?
OBJ: He was working there. He made a lot of kids happy that day!
Collin: You know who else makes kids happy? Barney. And I don’t want that big purple freak leading my football team. I just don’t like it. Grow up Baker!
Mike Silver: Yeah, Baker. You idiot!
Security grabs Mike Silver and drags him out of the room. Screams of “Hue Jackson rules” can be heard from the hallway.
OBJ: Man I thought New York media was tough.
Everyone laughs…except Tony.