Week 1 Browns Summary

It is no secret the offense struggled mightily on Sunday. The weather conditions were horrible and the pass-heavy play calling didn’t make a lot of sense all things considered. I call the Browns’ offensive coordinator Todd Haley’s Comet because a good play shows up about once every 75 snaps with him.

That one good play happened to go to Josh Gordon Ramsey who caught a tip toeing touchdown while telling Pittsburgh that if they can’t stand the heat, stay out of his f&#%ing kitchen. And that is saying something because his kitchen was about as hot as his last 5 piss tests.

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The big discussion this week has been on who the quarterback should be. Many people are calling for Baker Mayfield after Tyrod TaylorMade played below par and made sure the Browns had a very low scoring round. If he can’t get some good drives going, the rookie may not have to wait long for his chance.

In Tyrod’s defense, Cleveland’s offensive line didn’t play very well. Joel Osteen Bitonio was praying for help on the left side all game but he didn’t get it as penalties and a strong Steeler defensive front seven pressured the Browns all game.

On the defensive side of the ball, Myles “Davis” Garrett produced hit after hit while providing the Browns with plenty of sax. Number 95 was disruptive all day, hurrying the Steeler QB and forcing fumbles. It was about time that Big Ben was the one getting stripped without his consent.

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Ben Roethlisberger finally had to face the Ward(en) who continuously busted the Steelers and kept Antonio Brown locked up all afternoon. The only thing that would’ve made this pun more fitting is if Pittsburgh would’ve worn those stupid striped uniforms.

In overtime, Genard Avery was the Ernie to Joe’s SchoBert as the two teamed up for a sack/fumble return putting the Browns in position to win the game. Unfortunately J.J. Watt’s brother blocked the field goal attempt ending the game in a tie.

3 comments

  1. Sorryless · September 14, 2018

    This is hilarious! And yes to that Browns D with Myles leading the charge.

    They go to New Orleans now, and while I expect the Saints to right themselves, I’m more than halfway interested in seeing how this one goes. That Cleveland D is no joke, and the Saints D is easier than Jenna Jamison working on commission. We shall see . . .

    Like

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