For the first time in a long time, Cleveland fans don’t have to obsess over seven round mock drafts, or study film and interviews from every draft eligible quarterback in the country. With mock draft fever at an all time low, I have created this list of players who would create excellent storylines for the Cleveland Browns next season. Most of these players will be gone long before the Browns pick at #17, but a guy can dream.

Josh Allen- LB, Kentucky: Josh Allen is a top talent and plays a position that the Browns need help at, but those aren’t the reasons I’m pulling for Cleveland to draft him. The Browns NEED this young man just so all the fans on twitter who campaigned for Josh Allen, the quarterback, last year can make bad jokes about how they were actually talking about this guy. Even if Cleveland isn’t able to get him on draft day, we can look forward to middle-aged men everywhere tweeting “I thought he got drafted last year LOL” or “Wow, he must’ve changed positions #Draft”.

Greg Little– OT, Ole Miss: The offensive line as a whole looked better once Freddie Kitchens and healthy wide receivers gave Baker a chance to get rid of the ball quicker, but one of the “needs” I keep seeing pop up for Cleveland is the offensive tackle position. The best part of this pick would be the recycling of all the #15 jerseys from the last Greg Little to wear the orange and brown. As an added bonus, the new Greg Little could do stupid first down symbols every time he successfully blocks someone as an homage to the old wideout.

Rashan Gary– DE, Michigan: The only Ohio State players that are consistently projected as first rounders are Nick Bosa and Dwayne Haskins. Bosa is supposed to go top 3 and with advances in medicine, Cleveland won’t need to draft a QB in the first round again until at least 2045. The next best thing from drafting Buckeyes is drafting Michigan men so fans can irrationally hate them until they become really good pros. I look forward to Mr. Gary getting heckled at local CVS’ all across Northeast Ohio until he proves himself.

Deandre Baker– CB, Georgia: Maybe its recency bias, but if your name is Baker I want you in Cleveland. With Freddie Kitchens at the helm, I would trade for Dalvin Cook and Buddha Baker, sign Brandin Cooks, and get Connor Cook to back up Mayfield. You can never have too many cooks and bakers in Freddie’s kitchen (insert cricket sound).

D.K. Metcalf– WR, Ole Miss: Much like the Greg Little pick, I’d love to see all the old Metcalf jerseys come out of retirement. If I’m the Browns, I would force D.K. to wear #21 strictly for the nostalgia effect (sorry Denzel Ward). Also, Clevelanders love nicknames and with a name like D.K. I’m sure we could come up with some doozies.

Marquise Brown– WR, Oklahoma: Drafting Marquise Brown actually makes sense for a couple of reasons. He is explosive and has already worked with Baker Mayfield at Oklahoma. Personally, I hope Cleveland takes him so he can join a long line of great Cleveland Brown Brown’s like Paul, Jim, Sashi, and Courtney. The only downside is Cleveland isn’t big enough for two Hollywood’s so either he or Higgins will have to change their name or leave town.

If Cleveland somehow acquires any of these players, please credit me for first reporting it and be prepared to see dozens of corny tweets about it immediately following the draft. Later on I will release some late round sleepers (people with funny names or back stories) that would create great storylines for Browns fans and media members to discuss.