Browns’ Late Round Mock Draft

Earlier, I wrote an article highlighting the potential first round draft picks for the Cleveland Browns. John Dorsey made that entire article worthless when he dealt their first pick to the New York Giants for Odell Beckham, Jr. (Rumor has it that he may trade right back into the first round though.)

The players on this list were chosen based solely on the storylines that would be created if they were actually drafted by the Browns. This is in no way supposed to show who I think Cleveland will/should draft.

Chase Winovich- EDGE, Michigan: Its no secret that most Ohioans can’t stand players (or fans, or coaches, or cheerleaders, or band members) from the team up North. This is no different for Winovich, who happens to have an especially punchable face. After some of the comments he has made about Ohio State, rival fans have a little extra hatred for the long haired edge rusher. The last player the Browns drafted that was an enemy of Buckeye Nation was Baker Mayfield, and he turned out to be pretty good.

Bobby Evans- OT, Oklahoma: You might be reading this thinking, “Wow, this one actually makes sense. The Browns need help at the tackle position and this guy has worked with Baker before.” Well, you put a lot more thought and analysis into it than I did. Simply put, I want Bob Evans on a team with Freddie Kitchens and Baker so people (me) can fill everyone’s timelines with corny food jokes. “Did you hear about Bob Evans? The Kitchens wanted him to get some pancakes for a Baker.” I’m still workshopping this but be prepared to see a lot more like that if the pick actually comes to fruition.

Michael Jordan- OG, Ohio State: The last guard named Michael Jordan won six titles and was part of a great dynasty. With Baker Mayfield at the helm, this Michael Jordan should go on to do the same thing. playing for the Browns would set up so many twitter jokes. You could go the LeBron vs. MJ route. LeBron only won one title with Cleveland whereas Michael Jordan will probably win multiple with the Browns.

Elijah Holyfield- RB, Georgia: Elijah Holyfield is the son of famed boxer, Evander Holyfield. I’m sure I’ll get an earful for suggesting the Browns select another young running back with Duke Johnson, Kareem Hunt, and Nick Chubb on the roster, but I don’t want to hear it. He could help Cleveland take a bite out of the Ravens and help Freddie Kitchen’s offense chew up clock. Also, his dad had experience beating a guy who owned bengals which could come in handy when facing the Steelers this year.

Gardner Minshew- QB, Washington State: Quarterback is one position that the Browns are set at, but it never hurts to get a serviceable young back-up. This recommendation is based solely on his name, as I have watched approximately 0 minutes of film on Minshew. It’s a shame the Browns didn’t retain Tyrod as well. We could’ve all looked forward to bad jokes that start with “A Baker, a Gardner, and a Taylor walk into a bar…”.

Saquan Hampton- S, Rutgers: Many people lamented the fact that Cleveland didn’t select Saquon Barkley in last year’s draft. This year, John Dorsey gets a redo and can select a Saquan from the Big Ten. Best of all even if he gets outplayed by an electric, young, record-setting quarterback, he will still win Rookie of the Year.

Dre’Mont Jones- DL, Ohio State: It would be cruel to make someone who has been a loyal Browns fan since their return in 1999 to join another team just before they win the Super Bowl.

Michael Jackson- CB, Miami: All the good cornerbacks shadow wide receivers to the point where it looks like the wideout is just a “Man in the Mirror”. In a game against the Patriots, Jackson could guard Julian Edelman or Josh Gordon because to him it don’t matter if you’re “Black or White”. Twenty years from now, Browns fans will be saying I “Remember the Time” that Michael Jackson picked off Tom Brady in the AFC Championship game. That would be crazy, but to be honest, any game with Jackson involved is sure to be a “Thriller”. I’m sorry, I know that was way too many puns about the Prince of Pop. If I made any more of them it would be real “Bad”.

 

Browns Mock Draft ’19

For the first time in a long time, Cleveland fans don’t have to obsess over seven round mock drafts, or study film and interviews from every draft eligible quarterback in the country. With mock draft fever at an all time low, I have created this list of players who would create excellent storylines for the Cleveland Browns next season. Most of these players will be gone long before the Browns pick at #17, but a guy can dream.

Josh Allen- LB, Kentucky: Josh Allen is a top talent and plays a position that the Browns need help at, but those aren’t the reasons I’m pulling for Cleveland to draft him. The Browns NEED this young man just so all the fans on twitter who campaigned for Josh Allen, the quarterback, last year can make bad jokes about how they were actually talking about this guy. Even if Cleveland isn’t able to get him on draft day, we can look forward to middle-aged men everywhere tweeting “I thought he got drafted last year LOL” or “Wow, he must’ve changed positions #Draft”.

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Greg LittleOT, Ole Miss: The offensive line as a whole looked better once Freddie Kitchens and healthy wide receivers gave Baker a chance to get rid of the ball quicker, but one of the “needs” I keep seeing pop up for Cleveland is the offensive tackle position. The best part of this pick would be the recycling of all the #15 jerseys from the last Greg Little to wear the orange and brown. As an added bonus, the new Greg Little could do stupid first down symbols every time he successfully blocks someone as an homage to the old wideout.

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Rashan GaryDE, Michigan: The only Ohio State players that are consistently projected as first rounders are Nick Bosa and Dwayne Haskins. Bosa is supposed to go top 3 and with advances in medicine, Cleveland won’t need to draft a QB in the first round again until at least 2045. The next best thing from drafting Buckeyes is drafting Michigan men so fans can irrationally hate them until they become really good pros. I look forward to Mr. Gary getting heckled at local CVS’ all across Northeast Ohio until he proves himself.

Deandre BakerCB, Georgia: Maybe its recency bias, but if your name is Baker I want you in Cleveland. With Freddie Kitchens at the helm, I would trade for Dalvin Cook and Buddha Baker, sign Brandin Cooks, and get Connor Cook to back up Mayfield. You can never have too many cooks and bakers in Freddie’s kitchen (insert cricket sound).

D.K. MetcalfWR, Ole Miss: Much like the Greg Little pick, I’d love to see all the old Metcalf jerseys come out of retirement. If I’m the Browns, I would force D.K. to wear #21 strictly for the nostalgia effect (sorry Denzel Ward). Also, Clevelanders love nicknames and with a name like D.K. I’m sure we could come up with some doozies.

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Marquise BrownWR, Oklahoma: Drafting Marquise Brown actually makes sense for a couple of reasons. He is explosive and has already worked with Baker Mayfield at Oklahoma. Personally, I hope Cleveland takes him so he can join a long line of great Cleveland Brown Brown’s like Paul, Jim, Sashi, and Courtney. The only downside is Cleveland isn’t big enough for two Hollywood’s so either he or Higgins will have to change their name or leave town.

If Cleveland somehow acquires any of these players, please credit me for first reporting it and be prepared to see dozens of corny tweets about it immediately following the draft. Later on I will release some late round sleepers (people with funny names or back stories) that would create great storylines for Browns fans and media members to discuss.

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