Hard Knocks Time Machine

 

Hard Knocks winding down has me thinking about what former Browns players and personnel would have been great to have on HBO so I compiled a list of my top 5 along with some that just missed the cut. I’m sure I have some glaring omissions but these are the ones that came to mind.

5. Dwayne Bowe– Can you imagine how electric Bowe would have been on Hard Knocks? Just shot after shot of him leisurely peddling his exercise bike for hours at a time, every so often cutting away to Ray Farmer hyping up how he is going to be worth every penny and lecturing the media about how its stupid to draft wide receivers.

4. Kellen Winslow, Jr.– HBO would’ve had an absolute field day after his infamous motorcycle crash. The 6th overall pick limping into Phil Savage’s office to explain he flipped over his handlebars doing sweet tricks like he was some kind of Starboy. Then days later, it turns out he was just going 35mph in a parking lot when he hit the curb. I can’t imagine he ever did anything worse than that.

3. Mike Holmgren– Nothing in particular stands out that makes me say, “Mike Holmgren seems like a fun dude”, but I would’ve loved to see his reaction coming from a team who regularly made playoff runs to an organization who gives you the runs. It also would’ve been neat to see what he tried to do to turn around the Browns during his tenure.

2. Joe Thomas– The Browns’ Ironman. Not only was Joe a great player, but the guy is absolutely hilarious. I think he would have stole the show, especially in his final few seasons when he really started to open up (not give a crap). His podcast with Andrew Hawkins is good and he is great on social media. Teaming him up with Bob Wylie would’ve been appointment television.

1. Johnny Manziel– This selection doesn’t need much explaining. Johnny went from a fun-loving little rascal to problematic team cancer real quick. Perhaps if Johnny had Hard Knocks cameras following him around he would’ve actually pretended to care and would have talked more to Jim Brown and less to Jim Bean.

Honorable Mentions:

Romeo Crennel’s pool parties. Romeo had to be a “shirt on in the pool” kind of guy, right?

William Green being stabbed by his fiancee, then saying he accidentally fell down the stairs and landed on a knife.

Braylon Edwards punching LeBron’s friend and promptly being traded.

Joe Haden just because he was Mr. Cleveland and would’ve been a great ambassador for the city on national television.

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